I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
