Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
