i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
