he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
