Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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