Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
