I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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