he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
