Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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