I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
