my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This baby is an asshole
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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