I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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