do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We need to rekindle our bromance
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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