do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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