Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
