It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
