If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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