I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
