Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
