I didn't shave. On purpose
id be glad to
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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