Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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