wakey wakey hands off snakey
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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