I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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