if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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