It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
