i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
