I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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