Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
