You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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