Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
