I feel like abortions should bother me more
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
