Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
