If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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