Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize