I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
