All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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