Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
