Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
