He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
