Farmville is her only friend.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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