And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
