I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think im going to throw up on grandma
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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