I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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