What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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