You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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