Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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