The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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