the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
