There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
