Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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