But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize