4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
