Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
