dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
