Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
