We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
