Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize