Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
