..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
