We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
