ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
