i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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