I hope mine doesn't look like that
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
did you just send me my own nude
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your penis caused this!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
