Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
