As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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