my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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