so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if only i could text you this smell
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
