3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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