I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
